Sevilla Valencia Match Comments

Sevilla, our team, plays today. It’s this sport again that we return to, the one that lifts us with good form, winning ways, and LFP players of the month just before it heaves us downward in a heartless, five-game winless streak of a suplex.

Is “Vamos mi Sevilla” starting to feel a bit sarcastic sometimes because we never seem to go anywhere? Are we just a middle table underachiever?

We’ll see some familiar frustrations across the field today in Valencia, a team who has struggled this season to find consistent form. Maybe our English speaking Valencia blogs out there are writing the same preview with the names reversed.

I don’t know who will play but I hope we put out the team that can score! Gee, I also hope we don’t let any in! We’ve been a shaky Jenga tower in the back, which has largely negated a pretty great offensive season in which we’re averaging 1.83 goals a match. For example, we’ve scored as many goals as 4th place Bilbao, but we’re 13 points behind them. Oops! Fix it, defense!

I envision a few things:
– no shots off the post–only goals
– Rakitic got a hair cut and will be so nimble and deft that he’ll assist four goals and score one himself
– surprise Gameiro hat trick (literally, he will pop out of a hat to sub into the match in a new hat store’s crazy marketing scheme we’ve agreed to)
– a small child visiting the RSP for the first time will have the best night of his life
– I will mean it when I yell