5 Me, Sevilla! 5 Me Again! Hahaha, Sevilla! High 5 me!!! Hehehehee Oh, Sevilla…


Wait…who’s that homeless guy wearing number 16?

Oh, that’s Capel.  Hi, Capel!  Nice hair!  And nice win, Sevilla!  A 1-5 win any day is a great win, but especially coming against a team that took 3 points from the Sánchez Pizjuán earlier this season that is currently fighting to stay in La Primera.

They came out pretty toothless, to be honest, but our goal in the second minute didn’t give them much time to bite.  Sticking with the teeth analogy, Sevilla bit well.  Our passes were bitingly sharp.  Our control of the ball was like there was gum on our boots (get it?  gums?).  We were really getting the ball between our jowls and taking it wherever we wanted – mostly down the wings.  Negredo put us up 0-1 in the second minute after finishing Navas’s fine, canine-like run and shot after a great pass from Capel The Homeless.

The match settled a little bit, with both teams seeming to lose their baby teeth for about 20 minutes or so, but then Capel grew a man tooth as he burst down the wing like a greyhound (a canine) and ran onto a great pass from…somebody.  He was brought down in the area and given the penalty, which Kanouté cooly put to the side of Racing’s keep.  Looks like he should have broken his ankle as he tried to grasp at the shot with his weight leading him away from it.  Poor guy. 

After 0-2 the teams calmed down a bit and Racing saw more possession.  Palóp denied a 1v1 and Adriano had a great chance saved.  Halftime.  In the second half, we came out chomping at the bit!  With our teeth!  We put in two goals in the first three minutes of the half.  We were glistening and playing so well.  Capel to Navas for the 0-3.   Navas to Capel for the 0-4.  That goal got a smile from the Andalusian, whose white teeth shone brightly as he hugged Navas.  No biting, Capel!

Later on, Racing pulled a goal back to make it 1-4.  We had several great chances to make some more bite marks on Racing’s proverbial arm (huh?), but we went away grinding our incisors at the missed opportunities.  Negredo was whistled for being too far onside when the ball was passed, losing a 1v1 opportunity, and Kanouté danced and twirled in the area before firing a shot wide of a mostly open net.

Finally, Negredo finished things off with a colossal blast from close range that saw us going away with a 1-5 victory.  It was such a forceful rocket of a volley that my TMJ started to act up.  Yeah, it was a weird kind of forcefulness.

All told, we rocked Racing’s face off today.  They were left bloodied and toothless, only one point clear of the relegation zone.  Man of the match is a difficult choice between two players that I’ve underappreciated all season: Negredo and Capel.  They both made excellent runs and were consistently setting up teammates.  Super duper win, Sevilla!  Brush three times for Barça next week!